Has the day of Miracles Ceased?

This morning I was studying in the LDS missionary manual about Faith. It said when we have faith in Christ we are "able to do miracles according to the Lord's will." It made me wonder what miracles i have seen come to pass in my life as a direct result of faith. I felt strongly that I needed to record and share the experience that came to mind. I've struggled with knowing how to share this in an online forum and finally feel like the time is right.

Back in late September of 2017 I was 11 weeks pregnant and finally getting in to see my doctor. They took my vitals and then went to listen for a heartbeat but couldn't hear anything. They decided to do an ultrasound but the tech was out of the office. The doctor did the ultrasound but couldn't legally give me any final answers. She told me she could see twins but couldn't find a heart beat for either. It was a Thursday and the tech wouldn't be back in the office until Monday.

It just so happened that General Conference, a bi-annual LDS meeting where we hear from the leaders of our church, was taking place that weekend. I have to admit that I went into conference praying for a miracle that my two sweet babies would somehow still be alive. I listened intently to the talks waiting to hear words meant just for me, as I have heard so many times at conference in the past. Then I heard something that shifted everything.

The talk was by one of my favorite members of the Quorum of the Seventy, Donald L. Hallstrom, entitled Has the Day of Miracles Ceased? As I listened I knew this would be the talk with my answer. It just had to be. As he spoke of miracles and I yearned for one, I waited in anticipation for the words I wanted to hear. Then he said the following: "do you have the faith to submit to His will and not be healed?" 

I was shocked. As I felt the familiar stirrings of the Spirit in my heart my first reaction was to reject it. This was not the answer I wanted. Then, thankfully, I heard it again and my heart softened. Do you have the faith not to be healed? I had come to this conference confident that I had enough faith in my Savior to heal my babies but had never considered that it would take that same faith, if not greater, to not receive a miracle of healing. Instead I was reminded of the miracle of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. In that moment I knew that I would not bring the two precious babies inside me into this world.

Monday's ultrasound confirmed that I would miscarry. As I felt the pain of loss and watched my sweet husband feel helpless to do anything we turned to our Savior and plead for His strength to be with us. Instead of slipping into a downward spiral of depression and heart ache I felt Christ holding me every step of the way. I still felt the pain and sadness of never holding my babies but I felt great hope.

I was given a sweet picture and quote by my bishop and his wife. The picture is of Christ holding two infants in His arms. The quote reads: "Dear Lord, we would have loved to have held out babies in our laps and tell them about you, but since we didn't get the change, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about us?" My miracle was not to be healed. My miracle is that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ I will hold my babies in the eternities. That miracle is just as wonderful to me.

YA Tour April 30, 2011

May 30, 2011- Ashville, NC

We started our day off with a tour of the Biltmore estates. It was absolutely incredible. It’s the largest privately owned estate in the USA and is owned by the Vanderbilt family.

After our morning at the Biltmore we headed up to the venue to help set us the show. We had a bit of a difficult space to work with and the tech crew needed all of the help they could get. The show was really great and we were able to perform for Kate’s mom, aunt, and grandmother and also Emily’s grandfather and uncle. None of them were members and it’s was such an amazing opportunity to share our testimonies with them. They were all so wonderful and supportive.

YA Tour April 29, 2011

April 29, 2011-Columbia/Hopkins, SC

We started our day off with a tour of the state capitol. It was a great tour and I really enjoyed all of the stories that were told.

We sang You’ll Never Walk Alone in the capitol building and a whole crowd of people gathered. It was a neat experience to sing there where so many historic events had taken place.

We did a workshop at Lower Richland High School and at first the kids were very hesitant to participate but it didn’t take long before they all opened up and participated. We talked to people afterwards that were shocked that we’d gotten such a great response out of the kids because they tend to struggle. I was grateful that we were able to make a difference there.

After the show that night I met a lady from Virden, NM. Her parents were James Nations and Irma Jean Robbs. I could hardly believe it. I’m sure our families knew one another. That was a fun connection to make. She introduced me to a 90 year old lady that asked me if I knew any general authorities. First she wanted to know if I knew the prophet. I told her that I did get to meet general authorities occasionally and she asked me that the next time I saw one if I could please tell them that there is a 90 year old lady in South Carolina that loves and supports them in everything that they do. I thought that she was just the sweetest thing. I love the strength of the saints in the south.

That night I stayed with Landen and Ashley at the Titus home. They had twin daughters. We had to get up bright and early so we really didn’t get to chat much with them. Ashley stayed down stairs by herself and Landen and I shared a room. While we were reading our scriptures a moth began to buzz around the room. Landen really hates bugs and so I caught the moth and put it outside of the room. A few seconds had gone by and it flew right back under the space between the door and the floor. Landen really didn’t want the moth there so I ended up killing it with a shoe and putting it in the trash. As I got back into bed and began to read my scriptures again a spider repelled from the ceiling and I swatted it away. Needless to say I had a difficult time falling asleep. I felt like I had spiders all over me.

YA Tour April 28, 2011

April 28, 2011- Charlotte, NC

Our destination was Charlotte, NC. The stage where we performed on was very small and difficult to perform in but we made it work. I have a feeling this won’t be the only challenging space to deal with on this tour. I stayed with Becky and Alexis at Kiyomi and Alex’s home. I don’t remember their last name. They were a young couple with a new baby. They were great hosts and we had a great dinner on lettuce wraps. They have a 5 month old baby named Aleece. She was such a cute baby.

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YA Tour April 27, 2011

April 27, 2011- Roanoke/Durham, VA

We spent the day in Roanoke, VA. The people were so excited to have us be with them there. They were very proud of the man made star that sits on the hill overlooking the town. It’s quite the landmark to them. We drove up to see it and to our surprise there was a large group of primary age children there with their mothers and leaders to greet us and welcome us to Roanoke. It was so neat to spend a few min. with them.

The star in Roanoke was … high.








After the show that night I stayed with Emily, Oyoyo, and … at the… home. That night there was a great big storm and it took me a while to fall asleep partly from the storm and partly because it’s really hot out there. When we got up in the morning we were informed that we were on tornado watch but everything ended up being ok. However, the tornadoes did hit in Birmingham, AL and a lot of people were killed and a lot of homes were lost.

Young Ambassador Tour 2011: April 25 and 26

Young Ambassador Southern States Tour Log:

April 25, 2011- Raleigh, NC

I stayed the night at Michelle Monson’s house the night before tour and her mom drove us to the airport at 3:25 am. For some reason Michelle had this mask that resembled Nacho Libre and I tried it on.


We flew out of the Salt Lake Airposrt with a layover in Dallas/Fort Worth. While at the airport Brent and I talked to our first person about why there were so many kids in the airport dressed alike. We told him about our tour and the work that we were planning to do. He wished us luck and went on his way.

We arrived in Raleigh around 2:30 pm and went straight to a Stake Center. When we arrived we got strait to work helping to prepare dinner. Whitley and I chopped celery and pecans for our chicken salad dinner with the YSA’s. I ate dinner with Sarah and Andrew, 2 YSA’s. Sarah just graduated from BYU-I in English and she’s pretty sure that she knows Shea. Andrew is getting his PHD in sociology at Duke University. He was a very sharp guy.

We did a fireside that night for the YSA’s and the other members of the stake. It was a great way to start out tour. I stayed the night with the Whitehead family. Clark and Maria were the parents and the three children were staying at their mother’s home. Kate is my roommate.

April 26, 2011- Raleigh, NC
We got up early the next morning and were able to do an outreach at the Moorhead School for the Blind. While I was there I met a girl named Brittany and her boyfriend, Nick. They were both very enthusiastic about the show. Brittany told me that she sings alto and soprano in her choir; plays the violin and piano and she’s only in the 7th grade but she’s taking 8th grade classes. She was the sweetest thing. We performed a few of our numbers an d ended with You’ll Never Walk Alone and I am A Child of God. We sang these two songs down in the audience and Brittany was crying through both of them. She told me that she was embraced to be crying without any real reason but she just had such an amazing feeling inside. I told her that it was ok to cry and that the things we sang about I believed to be true. I was so grateful to have the opportunity to bear testimony of these things to her.

We performed our first show of the tour at Duke University. We got some amazing pictures of the campus.









The show was a success but we have a lot more work to do before the end of the tour. The proceeds went to support the non-profit Food Bank of Central/Eastern Carolina

Too Much Time

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I don't think that I've ever faced this problem before in my life but I don't think that I like it all that much. I have too much time on my hands. I know it's something that we all wish for but now that I have it I feel like a lazy bum. I'm so used to going to school for 6 hours a day, working for 3 or 4 hours and then going to rehearsal for a few hours after that. My days have been planned out for me to a T for the last three years of my life. Now that I'm not in a show and I have a low key job that I only work about 10 hours a week doing I'm finding it difficult to get used to having "me time." I guess I should probably look into getting involved in the community somehow or take up a new hobby. The thing is that a part of me loves being lazy and non-productive, even though I know that's exactly what I shouldn't be. So I have this silly dilemma of what to do with all of my free time. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.